My Spirituality

By Amisone McMullin

My spirituality is the core of my being, the foundation of my life. It is my relationship with God, which in effects my relationship with everyone and everything I come in contact with in this life.

My spirituality today was not obtained through church membership or achieved by studying the doctrine of a particular religion. It is the result of having learned to live life with my eyes, ears, mind and heart open. Of realizing that I am made up of mind, body, soul, and spirit, and understanding that there is purpose each of these parts of my being. Of believing that we all come from one Creator and respecting the relationship and connection this gives us with one another.

I see my spirituality as a treasure, a gift that has been passed on to me through my ancestors. A gift that when used correctly, will give me direction in times of confusion, strength in times of adversity and peace in times of chaos. It is a gift that can be given to anyone who chooses to receive it, regardless of race, age, class, gender and ...yes, even sexual orientation. How can I say that? Well, I believe that God is my Creator. I also believe that I was born gay. From my earliest recollections I have attraction for the same sex. The obvious conclusion is that God created me gay. But, however obvious the conclusion seems, there are those who have a difficult time accepting that as truth. There are still religious institutions that believe Homosexuality is a perversion, an abomination, a sin against God. As a result of this mentality, many gay people are forced to live their lives denying an integral part of their being (not just their sexuality, but their basic instinct to love someone of the same sex), and in turn are miserable. There are those who may choose to “give in” to their instincts and seek out someone who feels the same way, only to return and hide under the shadow of religious condemnation, full of shame and remorse. There are those who say, “If this is how God feels about me, who needs Him?” and choose to live their lives with no acknowledgment of God at all. As someone who has been in each of those situations at one point or other in my life, I am definitely not passing judgement on those who may find themselves in these particular circumstances. I am, however, relating my personal experience in finding spiritual fulfillment, without having to deny who I am as a gay man. I had to become completely honest. Instead of searching everywhere else, my search turned inward, into my own heart. It was there that I found that God has always been there for me, through all of my ups and downs, through all of my doubts and confusion. I believe He is more concerned about what is in my heart rather than who is in my bed. And, yes, God does love me...”Just as I am”.